The Road to Being Published

It’s Wednesday, and I’m finally getting back to this after a super long break. Sorry, guys.

I have a few things going on,ย and I’m super excited about how well it’s going. Let’s get started.

The Path to Biological… Oh, my. Where do I start with this? I can tell you that it is without doubt the most frustrating thing I have ever worked on. I know, not exactly the most positive reaction. I’m done with the first draft of part 2, and I only have about 20 chapters (all super short) left until I’m done with draft two, but still. It’s frustrating. Fellow authors, I hope you understand so I know I’m not the only one!

The Child of Fault is going really well. I’m so excited about it! I’m handwriting the draft for now, but I’ve done 66 chapters. I have 89. You do the math. I’m super close! Then I just need to type it…

I’m also working on another book called Work In Progress. It’s a memoir. It’s my journey to accepting that I will always be a work in progress, and I will never be perfect, and learning how to be okay with that. I will be telling the story as it happened, and then putting positives in. I’m a little over 10,000 words. Not quite where I was hoping to be at this stage, but I’m working on it!

Guys… I know I haven’t been the most consistent blogger in the world, but thank you to those of you that have stuck with me. I’m trying to get back in the habit, promise!

That’s all I’ve got for you today. Hopefully I’ll be back in Monday with another post. Until then…stay tuned!

The Road to Being Published

Man, it’s been a while since I’ve done this… So sorry, everyone! I’m back, and hopefully I’m back to doing this on a more normal basis.

I’m going to try and take a different approach to this, because it seems like a lot of times I just say different things are on hold. So instead, I’m going to just talk about the manuscript that I’ve actually been working on during the week. Hopefully that will give you a better idea of how far along I am.

I’m currently working on The Path to Biological. Yep, I’m still wrestling with that gosh dang manuscript, and I’m still working on the rewrite…ugh. I’m almost done with it, though. At the rate I’m going, I’ll be done with it before the end of the year!

Let me clarify: I’m typing up the rewrite, since I got done handwriting it a month or so ago. My goal is to do five pages a day. I was sticking with just five, but tonight I decided to do more… I got more like eleven, which is amazing.

There was 144 pages in the last draft. I’m not sure how many will be in this one, but I took several out of the last one. I’m on page 102, I believe… So close, yet so far!

I want to say that there will be a part two in this book. It was supposed to be a sequel, but it will be part two instead. Hopefully by next week, I will be that much closer to saying that I’m working on the first draft for it!

Until then…stay tuned!

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The Road to Being Published

I know I’ve been slacking on the posting lately. I’m trying to get back to it regularly. I promise!

It’s Wednesday, so we’re looking at how far I am on getting my next book out.

I’m so proud of how far I’ve come. You might be surprised!

The Path to Biological is still with the beta reader. I plan on getting in touch with her, because it’s been a little over a month. I told her no rush, but I do want to get back to it eventually. I have major rewrites to do!

The Child of Fault is now with beta readers. I know, the last time I posted I was still on the third draft. I’ve done four, and it’s with them. Isn’t that amazing? I’ve gotten so much more done with it!

Bethany’s Corpse is going well. I’ve edited ten chapters in the third draft. Yay! At this rate, I should be getting done with the third and fourth draft in just a few weeks. I can always hope for that, anyway!

Do You Remember Me is still on hold. I hope to be getting back to it in just a couple weeks. I’m looking forward to it. I actually miss working on this manuscript!

Living Through Abuse is still on hold as well. I’ll get back to it as soon as I possibly can… Hopefully it’ll be soon. I may just have to skip over some things and get back to it sooner!

I didn’t have a lot to report this week, but it was enough. I’m just proud of how far I’ve gotten in just a short amount of time. That’s about all for this week. Here’s to hoping I have even more to post next week! Until then…stay tuned!

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The Road to Being Published

The good thing about doing an extra post a week and a half ago is that there was no month in between posts unlike my other site.

Anyway… It’s Wednesday, so it’s time to look at where I am with being published. Have I ever mentioned how much I love these? ๐Ÿ™‚

The Path to Biological is on hold currently. Well, not really because I thought of something that needs to be done, but… It’s currently with a beta reader. Yep, I’ve done beta readers for this one before. But I needed to get another one because of the major rewrite I did… It’s just too bad that yet another rewrite will need to be done! Ugh!

The Child of Fault is finally not on hold anymore! I’m working on the fourth draft, which is amazing to me. I’m over 100 pages in. Right after that, I’ll be looking for beta readers… I can’t be the only one sensing a theme here.

Bethany’s Corpse is on hold still. I’ll be looking at that right after I get The Child of Fault done. I’ll be on the third draft. My goal is to get to it by the end of this month. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…

Do You Remember Me is on hold as well. That’s still on the first draft, but we’ll see how that goes. I’m so ready to get to it. It’s a fun book to write! Challenging, but fun.

Living Through Abuse is still on hold as well. That also is a challenging book to write. I’ll get to it, though. I may completely start over, but I’ll get to it. The only reason I’m starting over is because I realized I need to write about all my toxic relationships. Not just the one I was so incredibly focused on.

I still have yet to start on my part of the compilation book I’m part of, From Surviving to Thriving. I plan on starting it…eventually. Maybe not until next month some time, but eventually.

Also, on that note… From Surviving to Thriving is a compilation about domestic violence. If you were in a toxic relationship of any sort, or if maybe you were the abuser and now you’ve gotten away from that life, you are more than welcome to join the book. We would love to have you! It’s not just for women. Men, you are welcome to come join us as well. Get in contact with me. There is a tab with all of my contact information (Facebook is what I check most often… Author S. Courtney Killian), and I will get you in contact with the people that you need to be in contact with. Also, please know that if you don’t want your name, picture, or bio in the book, that’s okay, too. You absolutely can author under a pen name.

I think that about does it for this week. Until next week…stay tuned!

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My Positive Transformation

I never thought the day would come when I would write about this. If you had told me even just a week ago that I would be sitting here writing this today, I would have thought you were crazy.

I’ve been in a string of toxic relationships. One when I wasย 15 that I talk about all the time on my show (which I will talk more about at the end), one when I was 18 and was engaged to, and the one that I’ve been on and off with for the past five years.

The one that just ended permanently on Wednesday.

I met this guy when the youth group at my former church went to Arkansas on a mission trip. There he was. He was tall, handsome, and had those deep blue eyes that you could swear see straight into your soul. Oh, that boy was hard to resist. He was totally open and honest about his past, which I loved. I told him some of my deepest, darkest secrets because I felt like I could trust him. I barely knew this guy, but before I knew it, I was telling him things I had never told anybody else.

He asked me to be his girlfriend the same day we met. I had felt myself falling for him long before he asked, so of course, I said yes. I was over the moon. Here was the guy that everybody wanted, and he had asked me, the girl that nobody paid attention to. The invisible girl. That shot my self-esteem way up.

The week ended way too soon. Every single time I had to part from him, it was depressing. I was addicted to this guy. Every part of my being told me he was the one. You can imagine how hard it was for me when I had to part from him for the last time when the week was over.

We had plans after he finished his first year of school. So many plans… He was going to move to Texas and be with me after the first year.

Well…things didn’t exactly turn out as planned.

About a month into the relationship, I was told that he was cheating on me. By his ex-girlfriend. I didn’t believe her, because he was telling me otherwise. Who did she think I was going to believe? Her or him? Of course I chose my boyfriend. He would never do that to me. Never.

The relationship ended after four and a half months. He was, in fact, cheating me. I was devastated. I was hurt. I was angry. I felt like I would never be okay again.

We stayed friends on Facebook. Why, I don’t know, but we did. There would be times when I couldn’t stand him, and there would be times when he couldn’t stand me. I would have other boyfriends, and he would have other girlfriends.ย  Even when I couldn’t stand him, there was some part of me that told me I still loved him…and that was the part that made it so hard for me to see pictures with other girls.

This went on for a while. Then he would break up with them and come running to me. “I still love you. I still want to be with you.” There would be times when I was with a guy and told him no, but more often than not, I would be available and easily take him back. Every single time I ended up being burned. I was cheated on once again.

People would ask me, “Why do you still talk to him? Why do you still care? Why don’t you just cut off all contact with him?” It just wasn’t that simple. He was addictive. There was just something about him that I couldn’t get enough of.

Finally, in January of 2014, when we split up once again, I told myself to take a year off of dating. I made sure to stick with that commitment. I needed to focus on myself, because I had just become way too dependent on being in a relationship. He tried to get in contact with me whenever he and another girl split up throughout that year, but I made sure to stay strong. It wasn’t always easy, but I did it.

In July of 2015, we started talking again. I told him that I was tired of the games, and we can talk about dating, but we are not actually getting together until he comes and visits. It wasn’t easy to reject him like that, but I was able to. We lost contact before he came to visit, and I found out why: As it turns out, he had another girlfriend. Yet another crash and burn moment for me.

I thought at that point I was done with him. I thought for sure I would never hear from him again. Nope. Not a chance. In December of 2015, he contacted me again, and all of my feelings came flooding back. I told him the same rules apply. If he really wants to date, he is going to come to Texas and ask me to be his girlfriend, but it wasn’t allowed on the first time. We needed to go on an actual date.

He came…a time or two, but he never did ask. I was on a guest on a show shortly before I started my own, and I talked about him as, “The guy I’m talking to.” He was upset about that. “Why didn’t you say boyfriend? You should have said boyfriend. We’re practically dating.” I told him my reasons and he said he understood…even if he was disappointed. He passed it off as having a crappy week, which I totally believed, because my week hadn’t been the best, either.

We go on talking, and we joke about dating, and I would teasingly tell him that he needs to come and ask me to be his girlfriend. He kept saying he would try.

Suddenly, there would be a week or two that we go without talking. I asked him about that, and he said he was just busy with work. I bought that…for a while. He’sย a truck driver. Of course he’s going to be busy.

I have this app called “Who Deleted Me?” Wednesday evening comes, and I get a notification from that app… This guy that I had been talking to again had deleted me off of Facebook.

It seems silly that this would spark something so huge, but really, it did. I looked closer at his Facebook profile picture, and it was him with this girl…and a picture of a sonogram. That’s right, his girlfriend is expecting a baby. Needless to say, I was devastated yet again.

I talked to a friend about this, but then something happened in that short conversation. I felt a surge of motivation to get him out of my life completely. I realized all of the signs that I had just passed by the last five years, and I was more than happy to block him on all social media accounts, something I had never done before.

I thought I would feel awful the next morning, but no, I felt amazing. I felt better than I had in a long time, if ever. If he wants to have a baby with someone else, so be it. He’s out of my life permanently. I tell me reflection, “I love you,” every single time I look in the mirror now, and gosh darn it, I mean it! It’s such an amazing feeling, and I love it. My self-esteem has never been higher! He’s out of my life permanentlyย now, and this time, I know that for sure.

I’ve told a few people about my experience, and a couple of them have thought it was strange that realizing he’s going to have a kid with someone else is what pushed me to get rid of him permanently. The truth is, it wasn’t that. It was realizing all the signs and realizing that I would be so much better without him in it.

I can try to deny it, but my heart has been given to him for five long years, and I finally took it back. This is what freedom feels like, and I absolutely love it.

Am I saying that I’ll never have a bad day again? No, of course not. I’ll have bad days, bad moments, whatever you want to call it. Everybody does, and there’s nothing you can do about it. But what I do know is that I’m prepared to combat those bad moments with a high self-esteem and my head held higher than it’s ever been before.

I’m a work in progress, and I always will be one. This week just happened to shoot me further in my journey than I ever have been before.

Check out the latest episode of my show, Work In Progress with Courtney Killian! I record every Monday at 7:30PM CST. I hope to see you there!

The Road to Being Published

Hey all, sorry once again for not getting a post up on Monday. I spent the day recovering from my nephew’s and niece’s birthday party. More on that in a few days…

For now, it’s time for my weekly review of how far I’ve come this week. I love these. ๐Ÿ™‚

Days of the Kill is still not on pre-order, but should be getting there soon. I have yet to see the cover, but it should be done soon, and I look forward to seeing it. My publisher has informed me that the book is set to be released the week of March 14, hopefully that day. So yay!

The Path to Biological is still going slowly. I managed to finish handwriting chapter 48, but haven’t done anything since then. There’s like 70-something chapters… So I still have a ways to go, but I’m working on it.

The Child of Fault is still on hold, which I’m hoping will change fairly soon. I enjoy that one, and I’m itching to get back to it. But I have other priorities first, so I focus on what I need to.

Bethany’s Corpse is still on hold as well. There’s a line of books in front of it, and I hope to get that done soon. It’ll take a few weeks, but hang in there with me. I’m working my way towards it.

Do You Remember Me is mostly on hold, and I’m still at about 18,000 words because I didn’t get to participate in the sprint last week. Bummer, but I’m hoping I get to do that tonight. I like sprinting with new words. ๐Ÿ™‚

Living Through Abuse is on hold as well, but I plan on sprinting with it as soon as I’m done with the first draft of Do You Remember Me. I’m hoping we can keep up the sprints for a long time.

I didn’t get a lot done this week, but some is better than none. I’m hoping to get even more done next week!

Until then…stay tuned!

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The Road to Being Published

I was planning on getting a post up on Monday, but of course, that didn’t happen. Oh, well. As long as I get to do this. I love this even if it doesn’t bring up very positive results. ๐Ÿ™‚

I really didn’t get a lot done this week. I briefly wondered if it was even worth posting. I figured it was, since I still love doing this.

Days of the Kill is done. I’m still waiting to see the pre-order available, and I don’t know when that will be. I will be sure to let everyone know as soon as I can.

The Path to Biological is still being hand-written, and I’m still on chapter 40-something. I’m not positive how many chapters in I am for sure, but I’ll try to make sure I know for next week, and hopefully that will bring more positive results than lately.

The Child of Fault is still on hold because The Path to Biological is my main focus right now. I will definitely focus on this when I can. It’ll more than likely be when the other one is with a couple more beta readers that I have in mind. Not a huge formal beta reading thing, just a couple friends to look over it one more time. ๐Ÿ™‚

Bethany’s Corpse is still on hold as well. I will work on that once The Child of Fault is with beta readers (whenever that is… I have no idea.). I’m hoping it’s soon. I enjoy that manuscript.

Do You Remember Me is going slowly. For the most part, it is on hold, but I work on that whenever I do a sprint with my Writing Accountability Group. I’m about 18,000 words in, I believe.

Living Through Abuse is on hold for now as well. Once I finish the first draft of Do You Remember Me through sprints, this will be the next one in line for that. It won’t be this week, but I’m hoping I can do another one next week.

I think that’s all for this week. It wasn’t much, but at least I did a little. Hopefully more next week.

Until next week…stay tuned!

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The Road to Being Published

I’m finally getting back to doing the usual Wednesday thing of letting people know how far I’ve come in my journey to getting published. Man, I’ve missed these. ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m kind of psyched about how far I’ve come since the last time I did this. I’m really excited to see how far things go!

Days of the Kill is days away from being available for pre-order! At least I hope. My publisher said that it should be a week to a week and a half until it is available, and that was a week ago today. But she was also waiting on a couple of things. So we’ll see. This is exciting. ๐Ÿ™‚

The Path to Biological is going well. I’m in the fifth draft. Yeah. The fifth. Unfortunately, I’m handwriting it so it’s slow going. I’m changing it from first person to third. Yay. Fun task. I have like 30-something chapters to go. Thankfully they’re short!

The Child of Fault has been kind of on hold since The Path to Biological is my main focus, but I’m please with how it’s doing. I’m on the third draft, so it’s not too bad. But hopefully I can get back to it soon. ๐Ÿ™‚

Bethany’s Corpse is going well. It’s kind of been on hold as well, but I’m still please with the progress. That’s on the third draft as well, so hopefully I’ll be able to get back to that pretty soon as well.

Since I’ve posted, I started on another one, Do You Remember Me. It has just over 17,000 words, and doing really well. I admit, it was originally for NaNoWriMo. Yeah, I totally failed. Oh, well. Life happens. This is kind of on hold as well as the others, but I usually work on it when my Writing Accountability Group has a sprint. So that’s always fun. ๐Ÿ™‚

I have also started on another book, Living Through Abuse. That one is slow-going, but it’s also on hold, like the others. I’m trying to force myself to edit more than write new words currently, but once the first draft of Do You Remember Me is done, I’ll probably work on this during the sprints. ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ve come so far, and I’m so happy with it! I’m hoping I can keep doing this well!

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The Road to Being Published

It’s Wednesday, so time to take a look at how far I’m getting on being published.

I’ve done so much these past two weeks! Well, at least for one day. As for the other days, I can’t say too much.

Days of the Kill is still on hold due to money issues, but I’m thinking about going for a different editor. One I can actually kind of afford this time. I would have had to save up money for them, but I have to say that I do have the money for them now, so if I like the free sample, I’m definitely going for them.

The Path to Biological is going well. I edited 32 pages just the other day. It felt like I was running a marathon or something for two hours… Still, it was rewarding, and that means I’m just that much closer to beta reader hunting.

The Child of Fault is going slowly. I’m working on it some, but I haven’t put a lot of effort into it. I’m on the second draft, so there’s a lot to be done. Hopefully the next few drafts will be just a tiny bit faster.

Bethany’s Corpse is on hold still. I haven’t quite gone a month without looking at it, so I’m going to use that month up for all it’s worth. Hopefully I don’t go totally crazy from all the horrible mistakes in it!

If you’ve been following me for a while, you may know that I’ve been wanting to self-publish for a while. Well, today on my Facebook author page, there was the owner of an indie publishing company that contacted me and said that we could discuss options. This would be great for me, and I’m so happy that she messaged me. I don’t know if I will go for her publishing company or not, but I can say that I will definitely be giving her a call. I will be able to tell you more about that next week!

Until then…stay tuned!

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The Road to Being Published

After more than a month, this series is finally returning. How sad is it that I had to look at the name of another post to make sure I had it right? I love these. ๐Ÿ™‚

Days of the Kill is unfortunately still on hold. I’ve been looking at it more, though, so maybe the editor won’t have quite as much to rip apart… Oh, and I’m only about $400 away from my goal. Two more paychecks it is. ๐Ÿ™‚

The Path to Biological is going fairly well. I’m still on the third draft. Editing has slowed down quite a bit, but maybe I’ll be picking it up again soon. I hope so, anyway!

The Child of Fault is slow-going. I’m on the second draft. There’s a lot of things happening in that book, and…wow. I have a lot to work on in that book. Of course, I have a lot to work on with any first draft I create.

Bethany’s Corpse is going really well. I have finally finished the first draft! So proud of myself. Now, I need to take a month off of that and really focus on other things. I’ve been so focused on getting this one done I haven’t left time for anything else!

I’m so happy with how much I’ve done in the time that we’ve been apart, but really I missed this series. I’m so glad to be getting back to it.

Well, I guess that’s it for this week. Until next week…stay tuned!